The Turtles are Afoot

In Thailand when they say someone has B.O. they make a reference to that person's "turtle odor."  Hence the title of this blog.  I wanted something clever.

This evening I am mentally exhausted and want nothing more than to read Pigs in Heaven and go unconscious for eight or nine hours, but before that, THIS!  Long post warning.  Also, pictures.

On Friday night I went to a Thai disco club with Ben and Nat, which is essentially the same thing as an American nightclub except louder music, better air conditioning, and nicer people.  It was Nat's friend's birthday and the entire club (including the band) sang Happy Birthday like 10 times for him, which was adorable/overwhelming.  Nat's friend was dangerously drunk and spilled drinks on everyone's shoes for three hours.  And Ben sang along to every song, even the American pop songs she didn't know, which basically amounted to her making odd, gutteral, vaguely English-sounding noises to songs like "Poker Face" and "O.M.G."

I've decided to call my first Facebook album about Thailand "Pra-tet Pet," which means "Spicy country."  Twice today I have gone embarassingly teary and snotty because of supa spicy food, whilst Mae Aun and her friends laugh really hard at me.  Mae Aun talked to my friends' Taylor and Kelsey's host mothers (who are her friends) and we arranged to take a trip to Lamphun Province today to look at Wats (temples).  Only when we woke up it was pouring.  Coming down in sheets. So we left a lot later than planned and went to pick up Taylor and Kelsey, who live close to each other, but on the way we encountered this:

which made for an interesting/terrifying drive there.  But the day was really fun, and we saw some extremely gorgeous temples.  One of my favorites was pretty much all bright gold.

soooooo pretty!!

Cryingface incident #1 happened while we were touring the wats, with some very spicy sausages.  I think my nerves are cursed with being highly reactive, as I blush at least twice as heatedly as others around me and get more embarrassing facial fluids when confronted with spicy or otherwise overwhelming food.  It's not that I don't like it.

Then we drove back, and Mae Aun's car died as soon as we entered Kelsey and Taylor's neighborhood. So eventually I got a ride to Taylor's house and joined them for dinner while Mae Aun and my two host sisters who were along dealt with the car, leaving me blissfully ignorant.  Enter Cryingface incident #2.  Also, coughing.  Taylor's host mother is small and adorable and talks similarly to one who is firing a gun -- loud, sudden, and at breakneck speed.  In Thai.  Also, if I thought Mae Aun is somewhat overenthusiastic about having me eat as much as humanly possible, she is absolutely nothing compared to Taylor's Mae.  Even after we put our spoon and fork close together (which means "done") she brought out mangos, other fruit, a tub of sunflower seeds, and some Pringles, and aggressively suggested we EAT MORE EAT MORE.

Then Mae Aun and my host sisters showed up, and Mae Aun and Taylor's Mae jabbered for a long time in piercing, rapid Thai.  Occasionally I would catch my nickname, as in, "ascoienkjfdkjshfkljf THAP TEEM sflhoiuehnsfdksljhkjhlfd" or Taylor's nickname.  And then they would stare at the two of us until we shrugged/tried to determine what they were saying, and then they would both crack up and talk to each other more, crying with mirth.  It was impossible not to feel put on the spot.  But whatever.

Then we drove back home through yet another Wrath-of-God rainstorm.

Tomorrow we start official Thai classes and have received our permanent (a.k.a. for-5-weeks) schedules. I take language in the morning and orientation (Foundations) in the afternoon.  Wouldn't have it any other way.

Night night <3

Emblz

E-fish-ent

Today we went to a fish hatchery.  It really was one of the coolest things ever.

It is run by an NGO called the Foundation for Enablement or something like that, and while I probably won't remember much about what they actually do or what is really sustainable about them until we talk all about it on Monday at school, I know that it was an almost offensively fun day, for being in school.  The fish hatchery raises tilapia, with some carp in there for good measure, I think to ward off monoculture.  We had a tour through the Five Stages of Fish Eggs, which was weird and generally uninteresting.  Then, clothes and all, we hopped into some of the many fish ponds to do one of three things:

a) Move fish from one pond to another.  This is done because they like to clean the ponds (which are fed through a canal) and re-plenish them or something like that.  We move from one huge square net to the next, scooping out big netfuls of fish and scrambling with them across the knee-deep mud and chest-deep water of the pond, up and out of the pond, and over to another pond, where a far more capable Thai worker is waiting to take them from us hastily;

b) Taking a big net through the entire pond after the aforementioned big square nets have been emptied and taken out.  This is accomplished by keeping the lead line (heavy line) of a dredging net (I think) at mudline and holding the floatline above water and walking the net through the pond, lead line first.  Then when at the very end of the pond we toss the lead line over the float line, shake the fish down through to the end, and scoop them out (repeat step A); or

c) GETTING EGGS OUT OF FISHS' MOUTHS FOR INCUBATION. this was SO FUN.  Basically we stood around a net, grabbed fish with nets/our hands, and tried to find females with eggs in their mouths.  When we find one, we gently push its gills and shake the eggs into a fine net to be taken to the hatchery and then toss the female back into the pond.

Also we scrubbed nets, ate fish, and got slimy and filthy.

I went home all by myself today!  I feel that this is a sign that Mae Aun might be seeing me as more than an inept, infantlike creature.  Though it might be a one time thing, because I just realized that Mae Aun and Ben have made a chart on the family's dry-erase board  that signifies who can take me to school and who can pick me up. As in "Monday:  Morning - Ben.  Evening - Mae Aun."

Also, I now have wireless and can use my computer perfectly well.  THANK GOD, because I feel guilty/frustrated using Mae Aun's computer because it probably sucks up energy faster than a Hummer, and the keyboard apparently doesn't agree with Thailand's climate.

There may or may not be more to write.  Life here is really fast paced. I am learning probably a lot of Thai.  I really love this country.  Sorry if this post was supa boring.

LuvEmblz

Thap Teem

Hello, one and all. I am using the must faster Internet and much better keyboard of my school, ISDSI.  Later on I'll talk more about what we do at school.  But because I have very little time before my host sister Ben comes to pick me up (on a motorbike. by the way.) I'm just going to steal my friend Dana's idea and write about the general routine of life so far this week.

4:45 am.  Wake up.  Still have not recovered from jet lag, apparently.  Wander around, check email, read my comfort book (Princess Bride).  Go back to sleep.

6:30 am.  Wake up.  Dress in school uniform with difficulty because I am too sticky from the heat to put on any articles of clothing.  Awkwardly go to the kitchen, where Mae Aun has laid out a vast and improbable breakfast for me, so far having included:
            a. A citrusy soup with whole chilis
            b. Lots of rice
            c. A huge, excellent omelett
            d. JUST THIS MORNING: an entire fish, scales, head, eyes, and all.
            e. Thick soy milk with strange Western cereal

6:50 am. Have confusing conversation with Mae Aun about how I am going to get to school.  Almost always, she recruits one of her many "children" --really, just other students -- to drive me via motorbike.

7:00 am. Try to get ready fast enough, always fretting that I'll forget something.  Alerted by Mae Aun banging on my door from the outside that her kid is ready to go.  I stumble out, grabbing spare pens on the way.

7:05 am. Awkwardly mount motorbike in knee-length black skirt and don huge white helmet.

7:05-7:15 am. Exciting/terrifying ride through the city.  Every once in a while glimpse of speedometer reveals speeds of 80, which puts me in a brief panic, but then I remember it is in kilometers and is more like 55 or so.

7:15 am. Dismount, also awkwardly.  Bow ('wai') to person who drove me.  Carry helmet into school.  Am 45 minutes early.  Drink tea in kitchen (ISDSI is kind of just a big house). Hang out with other early arrivals. Get on Internet.

8:00 am. Commence 4 hours of mind-numbing Thai lessons.  I am in a class with Taylor Stamm, Taylor Sruba, Max, D.K., and Jordan.  If a native speaker happened to hear our class, they would probably be filled with pity/fear at the mangled Thai we keep shouting/trying to read.

12noon.  Lunch. Amazing array of Thai food and fresh fruit.  Everyone, mentally exhausted, eats way too much and shares stories about homestays/exciting food.

1:00 pm. This week, orientation.  Ajaan Mark ("teacher") scares everyone straight with horrific stories about students who have done drugs or gone to brothels only to end up dead or in Thai prison for years.  We are outside and are soon stuck to our seats with sweat.

3:00 pm.  Occasionally, the class goes to the back patio area, changes into workout clothes, and participates in Crossfit training, which is insane.  The 90+ degree weather makes everyone almost pass out.  Our trainer plays Fergie and Lady Gaga, which I discover I have not escaped.

4:00-5:00 pm. Get a ride home from Ben, my host sister.  She is a better driver than some of Mae Aun's other children, and spends less time accelerating as intensely as possible.

5:15 pm. Arrive home, shower (maybe), collapse and rest for a little while.

6:45 pm.  Ben and Nat and I hang out.  Occasionally they tell me about something they are taking me to do.  Sometimes we go out to eat, other times we sit in Mae Aun's tiny kitchen and eat the huge quantities of food she puts down in front of us.

8:00 ish.  Wash dishes outside. Hang out a little more.  If possible, study Thai a little bit.

8:02 pm.  Fall asleep as soon as body is horizontal.  Repeat.

Today we visited a walking market and an art museum as part of our city orientation.  I asked one of the Thai instructors what Mae Aun's nickname for me (thap-teem) means, and found out that it means Pomegranate.

Love
Emblz

Punsiin

Today was pretty spectacular.

I was up at 1:30 am and pretty much powered through the day on that amount of sleep, but it was really okay because if you prepare yourself mentally for a long day of being awake then it's not so bad.  But since my host sister Ben didn't wake up till about 2 p.m. I sort of wandered around, following Mae Aun and eating Thai-brand cornflakes and trying to get my thai phone to work, feeling vaguely lonely and restless.  When Ben woke up we hung out for a little while and got ready to go shopping, and I realized that I have little to no idea about Mae Aun's familial status with any of her numerous children, because as it turns out Ben is not her daughter but some sort of exchange student from Bangkok who has lived here 6 years.  I also met Nat, Mae Aun's 26-year old "son." Again, not sure.  I'm sort of under the impression that Mae Aun's house (which is AWESOME; it is very long and 3 stories tall and the rooms are all kind of like apartment rooms/dorms) is kind of like this very close-knit hostel, and even if you are not family you are treated as such.

Also, it rained really hard last night and this morning I found a tiny lizard (ching cho) in my room.

 But anyways. Ben and Nat and I took this enormous Isuzu truck to a shopping mall with a parking garage that resembled some kind of jigsaw puzzle. Cars were double parked, triple parked, sitting on top of each other. But no one was getting angry/belligerent and everyone was being so patient.  We shopped for a little bit and then got ice cream at Swenson's.  Nat and Ben got banana splits and I, in a stupid burst of curiosity, got something called "sweet n gold" which ended up being ice cream with corn, some grotesque yellow fruit, and lumps of weird gelatin.  All the while "silent night" and "have yourself a merry little christmas" were playing in the background in English.

Going through the shirts with English writing on them was hilarious/sad because they made no sense but Ben and Nat, who have just a basic grasp on the language, wouldn't notice how funny they were.  Example: "I don't care what you say, sex make me hot."

Then Nat and Ben took me to a scenic view halfway up the hill to the Doi Phuket temple, but not all the way because I didn't have a camera.  it was INCREDIBLE; and up the road (which is really long and perpetually uphill) were all these crazy-in-shape bikers.  The cars came within inches of them.  Then we drove to a waterfall about a mile away.  Nat took lots of photos of Ben in model poses which was really funny and the waterfall was gorgeous.

After dinner Mae Aun and I walked the dog, Punsiin (Poon-sheen).  Punsiin is a tiny elderly long haired poodle who seems to be scared of everyone and everything, and trends sharply right whenever he runs, which makes him crash into fences/other dogs/my legs.  But he always seems shocked that other things are around him and skitters away like a crab whenever this happens. He is really cute but extremely absent minded.

Later on Mae Aun ironed my school uniform and pointed out how much bigger my skirt size is than hers. I'm still looking for the compliment in this.

Love
Emblz

Chiang Mai, King Thai

At last.

I am staying at my host family's house for the first time tonight, and due to horrendous jet lag have been awake since 1:30 in the morning. So I guess now is as good a time as ever to update my blog with somehing that actually has to do with Chiang Mai and pass off future tiredness to morning emily. All of this still feels vaguely surreal, but in a good way!

To this moment I have no idea how long the flight was from LAX to Bangkok. 15 hours? 18?  Whatever.  We left the U.S. around midnight on the 18th (or 19th I guess) and arrived at 5:30 am on the 20th.  Time is no longer relevent.  We took a red bus with benches to ImmEco, a lovely guest house, and Lily, Gregory, Lauren, Ted and I walked downtown to find this great big market we'd heard about.  We walked and sweated and couldn't find it for a while but were soon helped out by a lovely ex-pat from California who not only told us where the market was but also insisted we stop at this great noodle place, although I think that was because she was genuinely concerned about our health, being clearly jet lagged and overwhelmed and in 95 degree humidity.  Noodles were great, market was even better.  Came back and swam at ImmEco's pool and met the other students there for ISDSI.  Had a great night hanging out/relaxing.

This morning (the 21st) we got some weirdly Western breakfast (fried eggs, little hot dogs, white bread), packed up, and went to a little welcome meeting for ISDSI.  Then we met our host families.

My host mother, Mae Am (i think) and two of her daughters, Ben and Jen, picked me up and we drove past ISDSI and then stopped at a little restaurant for lunch.  Ben, who is 21 and looks about 15, speaks the most English.  She's a business major in college.  Jen is 16.  Mae Am is a high school teacher.  All I can say in Thai is:

Hello/good morning/evening/afternoon/night: Sawadti-ka
Thank you: Kop koon ka
Sorry (this is a very important one): Kaw tod ka
Can I help you?: Hai di-chan chuay mai ka
My name is___: Di chan cheuu

This is allows me to say/communicate nothing but try to apologize for the countless social faux pas I am undoubtedly committing, and thank Ben and Mae Am for forgiving me.  We have laughed a lot so far, so it's okay.  Apparently Mae Am's family contains about 15 people, but I've only met 3 of them except for obligatory sightings of a few young men. Mae Am has told me that her son is 28 and will be my boyfriend.  Not having met him, I have little  to say on the matter.



Love,
Emblz

Bought new swim bottoms today

Check and check.